Businessmen on expense accounts “doing lunch” with clients need to take extra precautions that you don’t violate the Sarbane-Oxley laws. If this wasn’t bad enough, you also need to steer clear of the law breaking in Pasco County, Florida.

Fifteen strippers were recently arrested at five strip clubs in Pasco County including Lollipop’s Lounge (no, we aren’t making this up).

WTSP news reports that:

Before arresting the women Thursday, the undercover deputies watched nude dancers on stage, bought some of them drinks, and received lap dances from others.

The charges varied from solicitation of a beverage, exposure of a sexual organ, and prostitution. OK, prostitution is obviously a crime but the other charges? Please! How’s a cocktail waitress or stripper supposed to make an honest living? College tuition isn’t cheap these days. I’m not sure what part of Utah that Pasco County is in, but for crying out loud!

Well I for one am glad that the undercover cops weren’t too busy catching rapists, murderers, car-jackers, white collar thieves, and other hard to catch criminals. After all, stuff like that just messes up your monthly quota.

Some of the strippers look a bit distressed as you can see by their mug shots. However, Shannon and Crystal seem to think this might be the bit of publicity that they need for their big break.

Ladies, if in fact you are convicted of prostitution, then I will personally send you a Political Whore thong (coming soon!) when get out of jail.

A dear friend of mine emailed me this. Perhaps you’ve seen it too. It’s worth considering. Considering how much I HATE cell phones, this is actually a good idea.

The London incident has promoted concerns and I share with you what one
of my European colleagues just sent. As long as everyone knows what ICE
stands for, it is not a bad idea. A useful thing to add to your mobile
address book!

It was thought up by an ambulance man/paramedic who found that when they
went to the scenes of accidents there were always mobile phones but they
didn’t know which numbers to call and he thought that it would be a good
idea if there was a nationally recognized name to file “next of kin”
under.

Following the disaster in London… East Anglian Ambulance Service
have launched a national “In case of Emergency (ICE)” campaign with the
support of Falklands war hero Simon Weston.

The idea is that you store the word ” I C E ” in your mobile phone
Address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would
want to be contacted “In Case of Emergency”.

In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able
to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them.
It’s so simple that everyone can do it. Please do.

Please, will you also email this to everybody in your address book, it
won’t take too many ‘forwards’ before everybody will know about this. It
really could save your life, or put a loved one’s mind at rest.

For more than one contact, name them ICE1, ICE2, ICE3, etc.

The Democratic think tank Third Way has gone on record protesting the “explosion” of internet porn sites. Yes, they actually used the climactic adjective.

“The way this industry is exploding right now in real time is a problem,” Bennett said. “And this is a cascading problem. The pornographers are getting more sophisticated to lure children to sites.”
Sen. Debbie Stabenow, D-Mich., said a common manipulation of the White House’s Web site is a prime example of how the whole industry preys on children.
“It’s outrageous that a 12-year-old doing a homework assignment can type in whitehouse.com instead of whitehouse.gov and get hard-core pornography,” she said. “That’s done on purpose to trick children.”

Get it right Ms. Stabenow; Whitehouse.com is a link farm and not a porn site. It once used to be, but it is no longer. It’s this lack of fact checking that hurts your credibility.

True, no one wants their children to stumble or be lured into porn sites but how about something far worse: gratuitous violence on TV, video games, AND the Internet? A study by the American Medical Association found that “…children typically witness 32,000 murders and 40,000 attempted murders by the time they reach the age of 18.” Where is the outrage about that?.

And to make things worse, the Surgeon General reports that:

• 43 percent of violent scenes involve humor either directed at the violence or used by characters involved with violence.
• Nearly 75 percent of violent scenes on television feature no immediate punishment for or condemnation of violence.
• 40 percent of programs feature “bad” characters who are never or rarely punished for their aggressive actions.

There’s simply no excuse for this level of violence. Even Madonna is on record for not allowing her children to watch television. Where are you on this matter Senator Stabenow?

Read the Detroit Free Press article

A new reality show is underway. It’s a knock-off of America’s Funniest Videos except it’s based on a real live mayoral race in the sleepy backwater of Toledo, Ohio.

Toledo, mostly known for being the infected appendix of Detroit and suffering from a self-esteem crisis worse than Cleveland is graced with an incestuous (more than usual) political scene.

The incumbent mayor, affectionately known as “J-Fo”, Jack Ford, is running for re-election against the previous mayor Carlton “Carty” Finkbeiner. Finkbeiner is infamous for suggesting that the deaf should be relocated to near the Toledo airport since they wouldn’t mind the noise.

J-Fo is best known for… (Gosh, I’m lost on this one. Anyone?). Well I think it would be ambitious to call Mayor Ford an underachiever while in office. Mayor Ford will probably best be remembered as the somnambulistic mayor.

The other candidates have all been doing their best to imitate possums. Forget the donkeys or elephants, what Toledo politics has are possums. What better symbolism for Toledo’s political mascot? Ugly, dumb, and more often than not, found late at night stunned and getting run over in the middle of a lonely back road. This pretty much summarizes Toledo’s political leadership regardless of party affiliation.

Back to the T.V. show plot… We anticipate the action (oxymoron) will involve the incumbent heavyweight J-Fo facing off with scrapper Carty in several pushing matches and finally ending up in a bare knuckled cage match in the Sports Arena. Meanwhile the other candidates will pose and preen while the cameras are off elsewhere covering anything but them.

Keith Wilkowski seems to trying to utilize a tried and true Toledo tactic borrowed from Frank Szollosi with his “Take a Yard Sign” program. Details are available on his website.

Candidate Ludeman will attempt to dazzle voters by stating his record and even spelling out objectives and goals to the voters. This is doomed since the average Toledo voter can’t comprehend polysyllabic words.

Stealth candidate, Martin Okonski will likely protest the the lack of write-in ballots. The Toledo Board of Elections received numerous complaints in the 2000 election that pencils were missing or attached to a string that was too short to be used for write-in ballots.

The average Toledo resident will have an identity crisis with Opal Covey since she doesn’t look like the other candidates. Opal is best known for having had her personal menagerie confiscated by the Finkbeiner regime several years ago. Opal probably is indeed the best qualified candidate for mayor since she has no political affiliations and despite her quirky personality, probably more genuinely and selflessly cares about the conditions that Toledo’s citizens have to suffer. She may not be qualified to run a city in decay but so far no one else has shown they can do better.

The show will be celebrity hosted by Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise with a cameo appearance by Jamie Farr. Special guest will be Osama bin Laden’s best friend, Marcy Kaptur. Kaptur, best known for comparing the Taliban to the American Patriots, is back from congress after voting against the extending the Patriot Act.

Visit the candidates websites:
Carty Finkbeiner
Jack Ford
Rob Ludeman
Keith Wilkowski

This from the Smoking Gun…

Floridian Jon Matteson, who pleaded no contest in June to a reckless driving count, was wearing a rather distinctive t-shirt when he posed for the below Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office mug shot following his December 2004 DUI arrest. We’re sure the 28-year-old Matteson was more appropriately attired in Circuit Court when he was sentenced to a year’s probation, fined $775, and ordered to perform 50 hours of community service.

Jon has a bright career in politics if he should decide to throw his hat into the ring. After all, who doesn’t love midget porn?

This has to be a new world record!

San Diego Interim Mayor Michael Zucchet was found guilty of conspiracy, extortion and fraud on his first business day in office.

Zucchet will now become the poster child for political corruption.

Zuchett and co-conspirator Councilman Ralph Inzunza were found guilty for there efforts in trying to repeal San Diego’s “No Touch” rule in the cities strip clubs.

We applaud Mayor Zuchett and Councilman Inzunnza’s efforts. After all what is the point if San Diego only permits air dances when nearby Tijuana allows full contact sex in their establishments? NAFTA is ruining the USA and the border communities like San Diego are bearing much of the burden.

The Mayor’s office was merely trying to retain jobs and keep American dollars and jobs inside the border.

Full news story here…

Has anyone else noticed this about Karl Rove?

Is it me or has recent events seemed to have aged wunderkind Karl?

Wang tang, sweet poontang! The Motor City Madman is about to throw his coonskin cap into the ring and run for political office. Ted Nugent appears to have his sights on being the next governor of Michigan.

Cocked, locked, and ready to rock, Ted would face Jennifer Granholm in a race that ideologically positions Nugent opposite of the Canadian born, left wing, Granholm.

This from Newsnet5.com:

Clinton Township politician Hank Hill was arrested when he allegedly tried to meet with an underage girl for sex. The man had his 22-month-old son with him at the time.

This is so very sad and pathetic. When will politicians ever learn? You screw only registered voters. That means hands off (other appendages too) of the kiddies. Kids can’t vote. Give them more time and you can screw them over like the rest of us.

The accused pederast, Hank Hill, also needs to learn that you leave your children at home, or at least with a sitter, while you are out to bugger 14 year old girls. Maybe if you waited until your victim had filled out a bit more you wouldn’t have to worry about relying on Viagra ™ and AnalEze ™ or whatever brand of lubricant you were busted with. At least he brought condoms.

There should be a law (there never will be one) that says that politicians who get caught in underage sex crimes should be castrated with a rusty knife.

Oh, and for bringing Jr. along with him on this escapade, he should lose any parental privileges forever.

I received a “Speed Violation Notice of Liability” in the mail last month. It was mailed some 2000 miles away from the location of the supposed crime. The return address was that of the Redflex Company.

Instead of being a legal citation of my alleged crime, it was instead in essence, a bill. A bill much like the bogus invoice schemes you hear about from time to time where a “company” sends an invoice to a company in hopes that the accounts payable department will be so disorganized and pay it with out actually confirming the transaction actually took place. Sending a bogus invoice is fraud.

Since when do the police have authority to collect funds for “notices of liability”? Doesn’t this seem to circumvent the notion of checks and balances? The police issue a citation and then a judge or jury finds you guilty, not guilty, or innocent and the appropriate penalty, if any, is then assessed?

Today I had an “informal hearing” about my “notice”. I was ushered into a conference room by a very polite officer and introduced to Hearing officer Drew Griffith. Mr. Griffith then explained to me how the informal hearing would proceed. The officer would read the allegation and play a 10 second streaming video clip of the incident. I then would be able to make my case and Mr. Griffith would decide the course of action to be taken by the Northwood police department.

In my instance I was asked:
Is the vehicle shown mine. Yes it was.
Did I recall the incident? No I did not.
Was I driving the vehicle? I have no idea; I don’t recall anything from that date.

The photographs that appear on the “notice” show another vehicle present somewhat behind me in the left lane. The second photo shows the vehicle catching up to my car. It’s obviously traveling somewhat faster than my alleged 47 mph.

I noted this to both gentlemen and asked if the other vehicle had received a speeding citation? The spirits of AL Jolson, Gene Kelly, and Fred Astaire were invoked by Mr. Griffith and a nice song and dance proceeded as he stated that “…clearly my vehicle was speeding and that regardless of whether or not the other (obviously driving at a higher velocity) vehicle was cited was not important.”. The song then segued into “…since I have some leeway in these matters, and the public safety wasn’t jeopardized, I can allow this case to be dismissed.” or words similar to that. I then thanked them both and was escorted back to the City Council Chamber where other prospective revenue generators were biding their time.

Considering it has been reported that the company who owns the red light and speed trap devices, shares the revenue on a per case basis with the city, it is crystal clear that public safety is indeed their number one concern. Perhaps that is why the city has done nothing to change the lethal intersection of Curtice road and I-280. Perhaps it is because they feel since it is a federal highway that intersects their fair city’s surface street; the responsibility can be shifted to the Feds? Too bad people have already died.

Yes, people could die from speeders too. Unfortunately the Northwood red light and speed camera agenda doesn’t include pro active safety measures. Northwood has also been derelict in placing, until recently (and only at the behest of protesting recipients of “notices of liability”), the requisite speed limit signs in the areas of their selective enforcement.

One truly bothersome thing came to mind as I sped away (literary license… don’t take it literally) from the City Municipal building, I hadn’t received any form of receipt showing an adjustment to my “notice”. Perhaps the kind folks at Redflex will send me an adjusted invoice and statement of my account showing the adjustment.

Local input regarding Northwood’s tactics

Toledo Blade article about the Northwood situation

I’m sure Hanoi Jane wishes she had thought of this tactic back in 1972. At least she would have had a bit more quality to offer in the debate than these San Fransisco protesters (see Barbarella, Cat Ballou, or Klute for proof). At least Jane shaves her armpits.

Sheba Love… can that really be her real name? And at 40DD can those really be original equipment?

Baring their anti-war feelings Fighting in Iraq is indecent, not their nakedness, they say

Indecent eh? Be careful you don’t click on the photo…

Isn’t it great being an elected official? Better yet being appointed?
It seems that one of the perks of being on Toledo city council is being able to disregard the laws that ordinary folk are obliged to obey. It doesn’t hurt if your daddy is a judge.

Just ask Toledo City Councilwoman Karyn McConnell Hancock

Today is the anniversary of Declaration of Independence; a document that declared the 13 British colonies an independent sovereign nation.

The Declaration of Independence is the foundation from which the Constitution and the Bill of Rights receive their authority.

Oddly enough, while cited often in the Supreme Court, no decision has been made citing the legal authority of the Declaration. The court instead has used it as an example to support other arguments. It seems that the court has abandoned the principle and powers that the Declaration of Independence gives to the citizens of the United States. While the Declaration does not give a specific list of rights, it does mention “self evident truths” that are given to man by the Creator all wrapped in the “Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God”.

It seems that the court is afraid to acknowledge a legal authority greater than themselves and instead consider the Constitution (from which they are ordained) to be their sole legal authority.

Have you read it? Do it here:
http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/index.htm